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Womens I Love Boobs Spaghetti Strap TeeOur "I Love Boobs" T-Shirt. Made with only the finest materials: District Threads™ 5.9-ounce, 100% ring-spun combed cotton.

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Womens I Love Boobs Baby TeeOur "I Love Boobs" T-Shirt. Made with only the finest materials: District Threads™ 5.9-ounce, 100% ring-spun combed cotton.

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Mens I Love Boobs Hooded SweatshirtOur "I Love Boobs" T-Shirt. Made with only the finest materials: Gildan® UltraBlend™ 9.3-ounce, 50/50 cotton/poly, Air Jet Spun Yarn.

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I Love BoobsOur "I Love Boobs" T-Shirt. Made with only the finest materials: Hanes Heavy-weight Beefy Tees.

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Awkward TurtleIt happens all the time. A bunch of people are having a pleasant conversation when someone says something completely out of line, so much so that all conversation dies, and an uncomfortable silence falls over the crowd. These moments are reserved for the "awkward turtle." You put one hand on top of the other with your palms down and wiggle your thumbs. OR, you can just point at your shirt.

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Chess InadequacyIf cartoon chess pieces say it's true, it must be true!! I knew this guy once who swore the myth was a lie. He set out to prove it. There's no need to go into detail, but long story short...he got his ass beat...quite a few times actually. True story. Mostly.

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Electile DysfunctionWhy does everyone insist that there are only two candidates? There are more than two parties, people! Come on! Don't let the media tell you who to vote for. If you can't decide between these two guys, it's probably because the right person for the job isn't getting any airtime.

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F'in AFeeling down? Does it just seem like everything is crumbling around you? Did your dog die? Again? Still haven't lost your virginity? If so, you could either spend a lot of money in therapy (or the rural areas of Nevada,) or you could just let it all out by wearing your emotions on your chest. Show us how you really feel...and that you love rebuses. Dude...f'in a, man.

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Go Folk YourselfSeriously. Go grab your stringed instrument of choice, don your sandals, light up a doobie, and either start whining about the government or fabricating musical tales of bearded miners and talking animals. But, cut your hair first. You still need to earn a living, and no one's going to hire you with that mop.

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Good Actors Get The ClapYou've packed the house on opening night. The unwashed masses have been waiting months for your premiere. Now they fill the theater like cream in a Twinkie. The only empty space is the desparate loneliness in your heart. (Let's face it...you've been working so hard lately that you've hardly had time for romance.) With deep focus and unyielding determination, you deliver your lines like a postal worker with Asperger's. (Btw, you were playing the role of a postal worker wit

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I Can't Read What Does My Shirt Say FartI'll sketch this scene out for you. So, you're heading to the 24-hour Apple store hoping to score some power converters. A stranger sees you coming and stops you to read your shirt. He pronounces the words slowly because he, like the average American, can only read on a sixth grade level, "I... can't... read... what... does... my... shirt... say..." AT THIS POINT it is up to you whether or not you want to actually fart. I highly recommend it.

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IncontinentalWhat happens when the toilets back up on an airplane? News! Personally, I think airplanes are disgusting enough. I couldn't imagine being on a plane full of my fellow travelers' waste. (I don't even like their kids. And that fat guy...well...he should have to pay for two seats, dammit, somewhere far away from me.)

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Infinite PastabilitiesYou get one life (that you are aware of.) Make sure you seize the hell out of each day as if it were your last because it just might be (in that body.) Explore the boundless pleasures of hedonism. Think of no one but yourself. If you do only have one life, you'll want to make the most of it, and if you end up having more beyond that, chances are you'll never know! It's a win-win situation. The pastabilities are endless!

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ObamunismCommunists of America unite! We finally have a real presidential candidate who holds our values dear. We support Obama because he wants to nationalize health care, take money from the rich to give to the poor, and make one class of people. Hooray for communism! Hooray for Obama! Hooray for Obamunism! (That whole democracy thing just wasn't working out anyway.) So, if you are anti-Obama or anti-Democrat (or just totally in love with Obama's Communism...freak,) you want this shirt.

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Pedro's Donkey Rentals Pick Your Own AssSomewhere between the grand canyon and old Mexico is a lazy little tourist trap you might want to check out next time you are in the area. Mr. Pedro loves to have company, and he loves to charge his company to ride his donkeys. If you pay enough, you get to pick your own. Otherwise, you'll probably end up on "Peppy," the tiny donkey with a bad attitude (and worse gas.)

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